WE HAVE BEEN INVADED BY DERANGED MANIACAL ALIEN TODDLERS FROM SOME PARALLEL UNIVERSE!! SAVE YOURSELF NOW!!!
Although they take on the appearance of real human beings they speak in tongue - totally untranslatable, they make sound eminations much like that of a flock of spreeching owls, and their energy and power appears to be limitless!!
It's too late for Karen and I for we have been infected by the worst kind of contagean. We have been weakened in their presence. ALL WE WANT TO DO IS SLEEP!!! God knows how they've done it but they have scrambled our neuro-circuitry evidenced to the point that in the same moment we want to smother them in kisses and pitch them out a window. They have cast a spell over me that has left me with only the flimsiest shred of dignity given I have both willingly, in fact seekingly, asked if they need to go "Scheent" or "Kakala" only to knowingly end up wiping their - well - you know what I mean.
You MUST save yourself.
They are currently in a suspended state of re-energization of their enormously powerful long life lithium/kryptonite energy batteries which is the only reason I am able to post this dire message. Their technology is very advanced to be able to store an almost infinite amount of energy into such a small portable unit. Yet, every night they eventually stop to recharge.
In the beginning we knew something was wrong. They are having way more fun than us. They are sleeping way more than us. And worst of all when we are out in public NO ONE sees through their evil hoax. They listen intently to those who speak their language in our community. They pretend to follow their instructions. But back at our home madness descends.
This all could simply be the figment of an over tired, jet-lagged pair of mid-lifed............
WAIT!!!
I hear noises from their sleeping chamber!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
It is the male unit. The one who drips copious fluids from his nose, eats food with his hands, and seems to think no actually means yes!!!! I must see what is amiss.
{30 minutes later}
I am back. He had fallen out of his re-energizing chamber. Strange how they can emit endless screechings while giving all the indications of still being asleep. Yet, I sit in the dark rocking this one knowingly smitten by his spell.
They have the power to cast spells - like the one they have over us to be so in love with them no matter who they're being, what they're doing, or what they have in their mouth. Anyways, I was saying - maybe this is simply the ruminations of an "over-tired, under sushi'ed, haven't checked my email since this morning, god I could use a latte" kind of guy.
Like I said earlier - it's too late for me. Save yourself. I shall stay here and get to the bottom of this. I shall find the truth.. But that will have to be tomorrow for all my energy has been sucked dry by these drooling, dribbling, whining, hysterical, funny, gentle, beautiful, strong willed, determined, silly, endlessly hungry, constantly pooping, loud, curious, scared, intelligent, love to help, hate to go to beddy-by little creatures.
At least I still have my health and somewhat youthful (for my age) appearance as evidenced by this self-potrait shot I took of myself today.
Who says kids will wear you out?? Rubbish!!!
I shall report back soon.
1 comment:
And what of your gaggle of Baby- er, uh... ALIEN-sitters-In-Waiting? Can I come and view these strange Beings? Perhaps, you might be able to catch a few winks??
Post a Comment